


Cradle My Naked Heart

by YuuTama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Flirty Oikawa Tooru, Friendship/Love, Jealous Iwaizumi Hajime, Love Triangles, Mild Angst, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Iwaizumi Hajime, Pining, Teen Romance, Volleyball Club Manager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuuTama/pseuds/YuuTama
Summary: Iwaizumi has liked his childhood friend, Otonashi Aoi, for years. There were just two things standing in his way:1. Oikawa Tooru liked her too2. Otonashi Aoi only dated captains————Fic inspired by Aimyon’s “Naked Heart”
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. Otonashi Aoi

**Author's Note:**

> I knew I shouldn’t have binged Season 4 part 2 because now I can’t think about anything other than Haikyuu!! So instead of working hard and studying I decided to write this fanfic that’s been in my head for a while (better to let it out so I can concentrate on other stuff, right?)  
> Anyway, hopefully you guys enjoy this! And hopefully I finish this under 30k words or so 🤪 cheers!

It was the summer of 2014. Iwaizumi Hajime had just gotten off a twelve hour plane ride from Tokyo to Los Angeles. It was the longest plane ride he’d ever been on and even though he was still a young twenty-year-old, it was a brutal trip. He barely slept the entire way. At baggage claim, he stretched out his stiff legs while waiting for his bag, then trudged through imigration with the rest of the herd. Though he’s just arrived in America, all he could think about was chowing down some ramen or curry and lying down. He wanted to adjust to the new timezone as much as possible before his meeting with Utsui Takashi. 

As he finally stepped through the doors that led to the airport lobby, he was immediately attacked by the California sun through the large windows. He wondered to himself if he should try staying up instead. Besides, _she_ would probably want to hang out before the weekend was over. 

“Ha—ji—me—!!” 

Iwaizumi looked up at the sound of a silvery voice that he hadn’t heard in person for two years. Before he even saw her, he felt goosebumps on his arms. Then, he made eye contact with her—a beautiful young woman who stood out from the crowd. She had cut her hair. He liked it just as much as when it cascaded past her shoulders. 

He waved at her, showing her that he saw her, and then she pushed through the people to run to him. Instinctively, he dropped his duffel bag to the ground. A second later, the girl was already in his arms, grabbing his cheeks and bringing his lips to meet with hers. 

He’d been looking forward to kissing her soft lips for months, and this time felt just as wonderful as the last time, and the first time they'd ever kissed. It just felt right. 

“What? Did that embarrass you?” 

Her lips curled mischievously after she pulled away. Yes, his cheeks felt warm; he must have been blushing. Public displays of affection were not so well received in Miyagi, and he couldn't help but be conscious of kissing in the middle of the largest and busiest airport in the United States West Coast. He didn't want to admit that, though.

“It’s just hot here,” he said, and she laughed. 

“Oh, silly Iwa-chan, it’s _way_ hotter in Japan!” 

Iwaizumi pinched the girl’s cheek as a retort. “I thought you were going to stop calling me that!”

“Okay, then don’t abuse me like you do Oikawa!” she pouted at him. 

“Deal.”

Iwaizumi let go of her cheek and reached for her hand instead. Their fingers intertwined naturally like they’ve done it a thousand times before. As they make their way to the airport exit, they talked about what they’d done over the past years. 

But the fact was that they haven't done this a thousand times before. Everything felt as if they were always meant to be, but if someone were to ask Iwaizumi to imagine this years ago, he would not have believed it to be any more than a fantasy. 

🌱

Iwaizumi Hajime was in second grade when he met Otonashi Aoi. She was in the same class with him and Oikawa Tooru. She was a quiet student who never participated in class when the teacher asked questions. Iwaizumi often caught her looking out of the window instead of paying attention to class. They didn’t speak to each other until halfway through the school year. Unsurprisingly, Oikawa was the first to initiate a conversation with her, even though Iwaizumi was the one who sat at the desk next to hers. Oikawa had noticed her peeking at them during recess, while they were hunched over a volleyball magazine. 

“Hey, I don’t know your name!” Oikawa said to Otonashi then, almost like an accusation. 

“So what?” Otonashi asked. The words were on the impudent side, but her tone was not hostile. 

“I know everyone’s name in class, but you never get called on, so I don’t know your name,” Oikawa said matter-of-factly, as if it was his right to know everyone’s name. He probably thought as much, being the natural chatterbox that he was. 

“Otonashi Aoi,” Otonashi said with a shrug. 

Iwaizumi then asked if her given name meant “hollyhock flowers,” a popular garden flower which bloomed in the summer. She shook her head and said that her name was written with an uncommon _kanji_ which meant “blue.” She even wrote it down on a piece of paper for him, and it was a _kanji_ that was never taught before. The blank look on his face caused both Oikawa and Otonashi to laugh. 

“How embarrassing, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa teased, even though Iwaizumi knew that he probably didn’t recognize the _kanji_ either.

Otonashi then asked them for their names. When she heard the name Hajime, she instantly understood that the _kanji_ for it was just one horizontal line. She started to laugh again. 

“A simple name for a simple person!” 

“Ha! She got you Iwa-chan!” Oikawa laughed so hard that tears were barely hanging on to the corners of his eyes. 

“You guys have a death wish?” Iwaizumi fumed. He was used to Oikawa’s teasing, but he didn’t expect it from a quiet girl like Otonashi. 

“Here, practice until you learn it, _Iwa-chan,_ ” Otonashi giggled as she passed the piece of paper with her name to him. It was the first genuine smile that Iwaizumi remembered receiving from Otonashi, and he would have thought she was cute then if she wasn’t laughing at him. 

At that time, Iwaizumi decided that Otonashi was another snob like Oikawa. But he kept the paper and practiced the _kanji_ that night. She had said that he could call her by her given name if he learned the _kanji_. 

It didn’t take long for him to figure out that Otonashi Aoi was some kind of a genius. As the three of them moved on to year three, four, five and so on, Otonashi continued to get perfect grades in class. The teachers never called on Otonashi because she knew the answers to everything and might even go on to correct the teacher. By their sixth year, he and Oikawa found out that Otonashi was already learning high school subjects on her own. Iwaizumi realized that it must be boredom that had Otonashi looking out the window all the time. 

The funny thing, Iwaizumi noticed, was that Oikawa, who had always hated geniuses, liked Otonashi a lot. Probably because she was terrible at sports. When they first invited her to play volleyball with them in the second grade, she was so uncoordinated that she could not touch the ball at all, unless she was getting hit on her head. 

“I’d have to _try really hard_ to suck as much as you,” Oikawa laughed one time when he served into Otonashi’s forehead and a large red bump protruded through her black fringes. 

Although Iwaizumi had laughed too, at least he had the decency to ask if she was okay, but she got so mad that she punched him in the face. Or she tried, and missed. It made her even angrier and she ran away. But as mad as she was at that time, she’d talk to them again the next day. It took him until elementary school graduation to realize that it was because she had no other friends. 

Oikawa seemed to have realized this as well, and it was an unspoken agreement between them to stay friends with Otonashi. Not that it was a burden; she was the first girl that they liked. It was strangely nice to have a kind of exclusive friendship with someone as special as Otonashi. 

🌱

Otonashi continued to excel academically as the three of them attended Kitagawa Daiichi. However, Iwaizumi noticed a gradual change in Otonashi.

More students in school started to talk to Otonashi, because she was smart and they wanted to borrow her notes. When they found out that she never took any notes, they’d stopped talking to her. The ones that were left were the boys who thought Otonashi was pretty, but eventually left as well after finding Otonashi to be a little too snobby. Iwaizumi and Oikawa hung out with her as much as they could, but as they both joined the volleyball club, they didn’t have as much time as they used to. Otonashi had told them that they didn’t need to worry about her, that she was not some kid who needs to be looked after. She had more time to read when no one bothered her, anyway.

But Iwaizumi noticed. She was not smiling and laughing as much anymore. 

Iwaizumi thought that she needed an attitude change if she was going to make any friends, but he didn’t tell her so. Perhaps he didn’t want the boys to be after her either. But it was Oikawa who told her that she needed to change; the high and mighty look didn’t work for her.

“Oh, and it works for you?” Otonashi had asked Oikawa with a raised eyebrow. The three of them gathered at the school’s rooftop as they usually did during lunch, if Oikawa and Iwaizumi weren’t eating with their volleyball friends. 

When Iwaizumi thought back to those times now, he wondered if Otonashi ate at the rooftop alone on the days that he and Oikawa weren’t there. 

“Yes, because I’m friendly and charming,” Oikawa smirked as he ran his fingers through his long hair. “Reclusive and snobby is not a good mix.”

Otonashi then looked to Iwaizumi with dark eyes. “And you agree, Iwa-chan?”

“You’re both annoying,” Iwaizumi had averted his eyes when he replied. 

“It’s not cute to be dishonest, Iwa-chan!” was Oikawa’s insufferable comment. 

But at least, it made Otonashi laugh. 

Their junior high school days went by as quickly as elementary school did. By their third year, Oikawa had earned a name for himself in Miyagi Prefecture’s volleyball world. Otonashi had earned a name for herself as well: Kitagawa Daiichi’s Basketball Club Captain, Maeda Ryuji’s girlfriend. The basketball club had gone to Nationals that year and its members were like celebrities when they came back to school. Otonashi became part of the hot topic as well. The students said that they were a match made in heaven—the handsome basketball player and the beautiful honor student. 

Iwaizumi had called it bullshit. And soon enough, Otonashi broke up with Maeda on the day of graduation. It was not a pretty scene for those who saw it in person. 

“You didn’t even like him, did you?” 

Iwaizumi asked after the graduation ceremony, when the trio met at the rooftop of their junior high school for the last time. He watched Otonashi take off her graduation gown with an unbothered expression and threw it over the railing. 

“So what?” she asked nonchalantly. 

“You’re so cold, Ao-chan,” Oikawa rubbed his arms dramatically. “You’ll have a bad reputation going into high school, you know?”

Otonashi shrugged and leaned against the railing next to Iwaizumi. 

“People didn’t like me when I had a good reputation, either.” 

Iwaizumi shook his head at Otonashi; she was as stubborn as Oikawa, if not more. She didn’t seem to notice his gesture, as she was looking up at the blue sky, like she often did since they’d known each other. But suddenly, she turned to look at him, and it caught him off guard. Otonashi was a pretty girl, and everybody knew that. But did they know that she had a little mole right on the crease of her left eyelid? Did Maeda Ryuji know? 

Otonashi smiled at him; the mole fully showing itself with her eyes closed. Iwaizumi decided that Maeda Ryuji never noticed this mole. Otonashi didn’t smile like this with anyone else. 

“It’s enough for me as long as I have you guys,” Otonashi said. 

It was a lie. Otonashi was lonely, and Iwaizumi could tell. But he was kind enough not to call her out for it. 

“That's just _sad,_ Ao-chan!”

“Shut up, Oikawa!” 

🌱

Oikawa and Otonashi’s reputation continued to grow at Aoba Johsai. By their second year of high school, Oikawa was already chosen as the captain of the volleyball club because the third-years decided to focus on their college entrance exams. Otonashi had already dated all of the third-year sports club captains at Seijoh. Iwaizumi didn’t know whether it was some sort of challenge or pastime for Otonashi, but he didn’t like it. Even if he knew she didn’t really like the boys she dated, he didn’t like it. He wondered if it was too conceited to think that Otonashi was only doing this because she was jealous of all of his new friends at the volleyball club. 

“So, why sports club captains?” Iwaizumi tried to hide his annoyance when he asked her by sipping soymilk through a straw at the same time. 

The three of them gathered at Iwaizumi’s desk during lunch break. His desk was right next to the window, which Otonashi would have preferred. Their meetings had become infrequent that year as all three of them were in different classes, and the boys spent more and more time at the volleyball club. They were aiming for Nationals, after all, and since the rooftop was usually locked at Seijoh, this was the closest they could get to space out while looking at the sky. 

“Boys don’t like smart girls,” Otonashi answered him while staring at the clouds. She was sitting on the edge of his desk, facing the window. “And since I’m not good at sports, it makes the sporty boys feel tough.” 

Iwaizumi wanted to tell her that he liked that she was smart. But he also thought that she was cute when she was clumsy. Most of all, he liked when she joked around with him, when she laughed naturally. 

“Why captains, though?”

Otonashi smiled, shrugging. “Isn’t that how it should be? Like in movies and comic books—the handsome jock and the pretty nerd. It just sounds right.”

“I don’t get you,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. 

Oikawa, who was leaning against the wall next to the window, stood upright and took a step closer to Otonashi. An insufferable smile adorned his face, but he was handsome enough to fool the female students of Johsei. 

“Hey, you know I’m going to be captain of the volleyball team, right?” Oikawa towered over a sitting Otonashi, and hinged at the waist to block Otonashi’s view of the sky with his face. 

“So what?” 

“So why don’t you date me, Ao-chan?” 

Iwaizumi felt his heart rate increase, but Otonashi seemed unfazed. 

“You don’t even act like a captain, Oikawa. You’re so childish,” Otonashi dealt two heavy blows with her words, then suddenly looked at Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan is more like a captain.”

Iwaizumi nearly choked on the soymilk. 

“Nobody will respect a captain with a nickname like ‘Iwa-chan!’” Oikawa stepped back and laughed. 

“ _‘Mornin, Captain Iwa-chan!_ ” Otonashi said in a boyish voice, and bursted out laughing. “Sounds like something from a children’s cartoon!”

“Shut up, both of you!” Iwaizumi growled.

There was five minutes of lunch break left. Oikawa said that he was going back to his class to eat some cookies a first-year girl gave him in the morning. Otonashi stayed behind, and went back to staring at the clouds. 

Iwaizumi looked down at her hands; they were lightly placed on the desk’s surface behind her. She must not have even noticed that her fingers were so close to touching his. He looked to the side; her pleated uniform skirt crinkled between the edge of Iwaizumi’s desk and the back of her thighs. His face burned when he realized he was staring somewhere he shouldn’t.

“Aren’t you going back to class?” Iwaizumi asked after clearing this throat.

“What a waste of a nice day like this…”

Iwaizumi could tell that she was going to skip afternoon classes. It was a habit she developed since junior high school. None of the teachers cared because she still showed up for exams and passed with flying colors. Sometimes, she’d go to the school infirmary, take over a bed and read books or _manga_ then take a nap. Sometimes, she’d take her boyfriend’s clubroom key and sneak into the empty rooms while classes were in session, and she’d read or watch a show on her phone. Or she would go home and watch TV until she slept. None of which required nice weather to do. 

Otonashi said that fictional worlds were better than the real world. The friendships were forever and the lover is real. Iwaizumi, without any sugar-coating, asked her how she would know if she barely had any friends and she never went into a relationship with someone she actually liked. Her pride was hurt then, and she didn’t talk to him for a few days. But she came back eventually, like always, and Iwaizumi offered an apology, even though he didn’t regret saying what he said.

It was a little insulting that she implied that, even if unintentionally, their friendship was not forever. 

🌱

“Oh, Iwa-chan! We’re in the same class!”

Iwaizumi was pleasantly surprised on the first day of his last year of high school when Otonashi showed up in his classroom. As if by some kind of destiny, Otonashi was assigned to sit next to him, by the window. 

“It’s like we’re in second grade again,” Iwaizumi couldn’t hold back his grin. 

“Wow! The three of us are together again!” Oikawa entered the classroom last with an excited yell, causing some girls to turn their heads. 

It felt like nothing could go wrong, even though none of them knew what they would end up doing after graduation. They were going to have at least one whole year together. What they didn’t expect was their new homeroom teacher.

Yamauchi Satomi was a fairly young and new teacher. She had a fresh outlook on education, one that didn’t only focus on letter grades. Long story short, she was the mortal enemy whom Otonashi never thought she’d meet. 

“Otonashi-san, do you have a minute?” 

Yamauchi-sensei came up to Otonashi a week after school’s start. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were about to leave for after school practice, but curiosity kept them in the classroom.

“Sure, Yamauchi-sensei,” Otonashi smiled sweetly at the teacher.

“I’ve noticed that you’re not affiliated with any clubs at school,” Yamauchi-sensei smiled back. 

“So what?” Otonashi shot back.

“Well, it’s mandatory at this school,” Yamauchi-sensei did not back down easily at Otonashi’s abrasive tone. “I will need you to join a club by the end of this week.”

“Well, teacher, I’m just so busy—”

“With cutting afternoon classes?” Yamauchi-sensei more so stated than asked, which took Otonashi by surprise. “The other teachers told me not to bother, but I’m not like the other teachers. No matter how smart you are, you must abide by school rules.”

Otonashi, for the first time ever, scowled at the teacher. 

“What? You’ll contact my parents? Even if you can reach them on the rare occasion that they’re in the country, they don’t care as long as I’m getting good grades!”

“How about I suspend you from school?” Yamauchi-sensei didn’t back down. “On exam days, especially. All of your class cutting surely is enough reason to suspend you.”

Otonashi was at a loss of words. Even Oikawa and Iwaizumi were in awe of the new teacher. 

“Turn in a copy of your approved club application to me by Friday,” Yamauchi-sensei put down a blank club application paper in front of Otonashi, and left the classroom.

Iwaizumi could tell that Oikawa was really itching to poke fun at Otonashi, but he pushed the guy out of the classroom before he could. Otonashi was probably pissed off. But if Iwaizumi was honest, he thought that Otonashi could use an after school activity to make friends and whatnot. It was their last high school year and all. 

But joining a club wasn’t as easy as merely submitting an application. Most clubs were not looking for new members by then, and frankly, no one wanted a member like Otonashi, who was kind of a snob and would probably not participate. Most sports clubs rejected her as well because of her reputation. 

By that Friday, Otonashi was desperate.

“Come on, Iwa-chan! We’re friends!”

Otonashi latched herself onto Iwaizumi’s arm that entire day whenever she had the chance. She had asked him to make her the manager for the volleyball club. Her strategy would have worked on Oikawa, but not him. As much as he enjoyed having Otonashi’s soft arms wrapped around his, he was very keen at separating business from pleasure. 

“For the last time, you _can’t_ be the volleyball club’s manager!” Iwaizumi let out an exasperated sigh at the end of the day. “Do you even know the responsibilities of a manager?”

“Can’t you teach me? You know I’m smart, right?” Otonashi whined. 

“Smart has nothing to do with…”

“Iwa-chan! Ready for prac—Hm?” Oikawa arrived at Iwaizumi and Otonashi’s classroom in his usual chirpy mood, and halted at the door when he saw Otonashi hanging onto Iwaizumi’s arm while the rest of her body slumped like a sloth. “You guys flirting behind my back or something?”

Iwaizumi’s heart jumped at Oikawa’s accusation. He jerked his arm out of Otonashi’s grasp and shouted no. He almost felt bad for his action, but then Otonashi got up quickly and ran to meet Oikawa at the door.

“Oikawa! Let me be the volleyball club’s manager!” Otonashi demanded. 

“Ao-chan as manager?” Oikawa gave it about a second of thought. “Sure!”

“Are you kidding me, Shittykawa?” Iwaizumi bellowed. “We don’t have time to teach her what to do! You’re the one who…”

“You’re overreacting, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa dismissed Iwaizumi’s protest with a wave. “We’ve been doing fine without a manager this whole time. If anything, she can just be a glorified errand girl! Besides, just having a girl manager around might raise those simpletons’ spirits, don’t you think?”

Otonashi certainly seemed happy about Oikawa’s decision. She patted him on the shoulder and said that he was finally being useful as a captain. The two of them bantered and left the classroom together; Oikawa suggested that Otonashi might as well start getting acquainted with the other volleyball club members. Iwaizumi lingered inside the classroom for just a minute too long. 

There was a stuffy feeling inside his chest. He felt that he should have been more glad about being able to spend more time with Otonashi. But when Oikawa mentioned those “simpletons” at the club, he couldn’t help imagining the boys stealing glances at Otonashi during practice. Yes, he believed that Otonashi could use more friends, but not those idiots. 

With a long sigh, Iwaizumi finally left the classroom and trudged towards the gym. 

Just as he feared, when he entered the gym, Otonashi was already surrounded by boys who all seemed way too eager. Iwaizumi wondered how Oikawa could be so laid back about the whole situation, then he realized that Oikawa probably never felt worried a day in his life when it came to girls. In fact, judging by his smile, he was probably proud to present Otonashi to the club, like he was some kind of god bestowing a gift to his teammates. 

“I’m Otonashi, a third-year. I’m kind of bad with sports, so please take care of me,” Otonashi introduced herself normally, but Iwaizumi wished that she had said something annoying instead. 

“Please take care of us!” The boys collectively exclaimed with enthusiasm, and the afternoon practice began without delay.

Iwaizumi watched from the corner of his eyes where Otonashi talked with the coach. Meanwhile, from his ears he heard the not-so-discreet chatter from his underclassmen.

“Otonashi-senpai is so pretty…”

“You’re out of her league, Kindaichi.”

Iwaizumi was seriously irritated, but no one noticed anything out of the norm because his face always looked like that. If anything, his spiking practice went really well that afternoon. The first-years were all impressed with his power. Then, he caught Otonashi staring. 

Maybe Oikawa was right after all.

Otonashi must have been told by the coach to just observe for her first day, as she quietly stood by the wall. Only Oikawa had the kind of thick skin to order her to get him water and sweat towels. And the day’s practice ended as normally as it could have. 

Iwaizumi toweled off his face and hair near a bench, and left the towel around the back of his neck. He looked up to see that Otonashi was attempting to help put the balls away in the caddies. Miraculously, Otonashi managed to walk towards an unmoving ball, bend down to pick it up, and somehow trip over her own foot. Those who saw it happen opened their mouths in shock, including Iwaizumi himself even though he’d known about her uncoordinated limbs for years.

Hamamaki, who was closest to Otonashi, ran over to help her up. The girl was embarrassed but pretty calm about it. She must have grown used to it.

Then, Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at his fellow third-year teammate, who lingered in front of Otonashi after helping her up.

“So, uh, I noticed the captain calling you ‘Ao-chan,’ you guys are friends, then?” Hanamaki started to chat with her.

“I suppose we are,” Aoi shrugged. “But I always just thought that giving people nicknames was some sick power move of his.”

Time seemed to have stopped moving for Hanamaki for a split second as he stared wide-mouthed at Otonashi. When he snapped out of it, he laughed loudly. 

“Holy crap, Otonashi-san, you’re ama—”

“Aoi!”

Otonashi and Hanamaki both turned to look at Iwaizumi. By the time Iwaizumi realized that he had called Otonashi’s name, she was already hurrying towards him from across the gym. How loudly did he just say that? Was everyone looking at him?

Fighting the urge to look around at his clubmates, Iwaizumi kept his eyes on Otonashi. The girl stopped just a step away in front of him. Her knees were slightly pink from falling earlier. 

“Are your knees okay?” he asked the first thing that came to his mind.

Otonashi looked down at her knees, and moved them around one by one. Then she gave him a nod and a thumbs up. 

“They’re fine. Weren’t you the one who said that I should have knees of steel now that I’ve fallen on them so much?” 

Iwaizumi frowned, “Don’t look so proud about it!”

Then, she giggled, lightly enough that only Iwaizumi could hear her. Iwaizumi softened his gaze as Otonashi’s mole revealed itself as she laughed. 

Iwaizumi couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment when he realized that he started to like Otonashi more than a friend. If someone told him that it was when he first saw her laugh, he would be okay with it. Maybe he liked her from the start, and it just grew more and more each day. 

But Otonashi Aoi only dated captains. 


	2. Iwaizumi Hajime

As Otonashi watched Iwaizumi hit spikes for the first time since they were in elementary school, she actually felt sorry for Oikawa’s head. Although Iwaizumi yelled at both of them, he had never hit her like he did to Oikawa. However, she believed that Oikawa deserved it much more than she did. 

Begging her way into the volleyball club was not a proud moment for Otonashi, but now that she was there for the second day in a row, she didn’t mind it so much. The boys didn’t ask her for any help anyway. She could probably get away with reading books on the bench. But for the first week, she decided that she would actually watch. 

A practice game had started after an hour of drills. Otonashi had no idea what the rules or strategy were, but she knew that it was not an easy sport. Then again, all sports were difficult for her. Despite having dated many a sports club captain, she mostly stayed away from the competitions, and the boyfriends didn’t mind. They liked the clumsy thing; it distracted them from her smarts. 

Otonashi watched Iwaizumi and Oikawa closely for the entire practice game. Oikawa had set the ball to Iwaizumi twice as many times as to anyone else on his team. She remembered that Oikawa had called Iwaizumi the Ace before. It was easy to see that the relationship between a setter and his Ace must be very special. Even though both of them were her best friends, there was something exclusive to them that she couldn’t touch. 

She was envious of them, envious of that connection that she’d never felt with anyone. 

Sure, when Maeda Ryuji asked her out during junior high school, she was actually really happy. She’d always had trouble making friends and if someone liked her enough to have a special relationship with her, she wasn’t going to turn him down. But soon she realized how shallow their bond was, yet the observers made them to be so much more. Otonashi decided then that perhaps nothing in real life could be as beautiful and moving as fiction. 

Still, she longed for that kind of connection. She wouldn’t be human if she didn’t. 

“Oikawa-senpai is on a roll again.”

A voice from her left pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked to see a boy with caramel-colored hair standing a few feet away from her. His eyes were fixed on the game—no, fixed on Oikawa. His name was Yahaba Shigeru, a second-year, if Otonashi remembered correctly from yesterday’s brief introductions. 

Yahaba seemed to have noticed Otonashi’s gaze and looked over. As soon as he realized that the new girl manager was staring at him, he flinched and stammered nervously, “Oh, I’m sorry! Did I say that out loud? Heh.”

“Why do you say that Oikawa is on a roll?” Otonashi ignored Yahaba’s awkward apology. “Iwa-chan has been scoring the points.”

“Iwa-cha…? Oh, Iwaizumi-senpai!” Yahaba’s eyes glazed over for a second when Otonashi called her friend by his nickname. No one dared to call him that except for Oikawa. His lips curled into a curious smile as he turned to face Otonashi. “Otonashi-senpai, you’re new to volleyball, right? Oikawa-senpai’s position is called a setter; he sets the ball to the most optimal position for Iwaizumi-senpai to attack. What I meant earlier was that Oikawa-senpai has been giving really great sets today.” 

“So you’re saying that Iwa-chan has to rely on Oikawa?”

“Hmm… I’d say it’s mutual,” Yahaba rubbed his chin with his finger as he thought about Otonashi’s question seriously. “That’s just what volleyball is. You can’t touch the ball twice in a row, so you just have to trust that the others will do their part. But… since my position is also a setter, I guess I envy Oikawa-senpai a little.”

Yahaba scratched the back of his head and chuckled bashfully. Otonashi didn’t think that Yahaba needed to be embarrassed; she understood that feeling of envy very well. She turned back to the game and watched Oikawa set the ball to Iwaizumi once again. Iwaizumi jumped nearly at the same time that the ball left Oikawa’s fingers, and he swung without hesitation. Another third-year named Matsukawa Issei blocked the attack, and a second-year named Watari Shinji behind Iwaizumi dug the ball back up.

Everyone was connected. 

Perhaps that was the real appeal of team sports, but Otonashi only felt the weight of envy on her shoulders. So what if she could understand everything in a textbook with one look? So what if she could pass any exam without studying? The top was a lonely place. 

🌱

The volleyball coach announced to the team that he’d accepted a request for a practice match with Karasuno High School. Otonashi had never heard of that school, but some of the club members knew of it. They said that the school hadn’t been to Nationals for over ten years. It sounded almost like a waste of time to have a practice match with a weak team, but then the coach threw in the bait. 

“I’ve made them promise to use Kageyama Tobio as starting setter for the entire game.”

Something stirred in the facial expressions of a few of the boys. Others widened their eyes in recognition of the name. 

“That’s that setter who graduated from Kitagawa Daiichi, right?” Matsukawa pointed out. “Some people are calling him a volleyball genius.”

“Hey, Oikawa, that’s your alma mater,” Hanamaki turned to Oikawa with a smirk. “Do I sense some drama?”

“Hmm?” Oikawa raised an eyebrow; his smile grew a shade darker. “I don’t remember anything special about Tobio-chan.”

“Liar,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at Oikawa. 

Otonashi remembered Kageyama Tobio, but only by name. Back in their third year at Kitagawa Daiichi, Oikawa had complained about the freshman a million times. The extent of it almost made Otonashi question whether Oikawa was bullying his junior at some point. She wouldn’t put it past him. 

“It’s not cute to be dishonest, Oikawa,” Otonashi said, imitating Oikawa by drawing out the ends of her sentences. 

She had done it on a whim, and it surprised the volleyball players. After a couple of seconds of silence, the club bursted out laughing, all besides Oikawa, who looked like he had stubbed his toe. Apparently, Otonashi’s impression was spot on, according to the other third-years. 

“You too, Ao-chan?” Oikawa fussed like a child. “That’s out of character for you!”

Warmth was rising from beneath her cheeks. Oikawa was right; she was never the type to speak up in front of a large group of people. But making fun of Oikawa was a habit and it just happened, and even though she felt embarrassed, there was a bit of gladness also. It felt like she was in on the joke with everyone else.

After the laughter subsided, the coach dismissed the volleyball club for the day. The boys began to take down the nets and put away all of the equipment. Otonashi stretched out her back and looked at the clock on the wall—it was already seven o’clock in the evening. 

“Makki! Leave that one up!” Oikawa yelled across the gym right before Hanamaki was going to take down the last net. 

“You’re staying longer?” Iwaizumi asked Oikawa, who nodded in response. “You’re not getting anxious about the practice match, are you?”

“No way, Iwa-chan! I know we’re gonna win!” Oikawa laughed in his dramatic way. “I just want to make sure we absolutely crush them, that’s all!”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at Oikawa, but then sighed in defeat. 

“I’ll stay too to make sure you don’t overwork yourself.”

“Wow, I’m touched, Iwa-chan!”

“Don’t be gross,” Iwaizumi said to Oikawa before turning his head towards Otonashi. She was waving goodbye to the other club members as they left the gym one by one. 

“Aoi!”

Otonashi shifted at the sound of Iwaizumi’s voice. The boy approached her without having put on his track jacket nor holding his duffel bag. 

“Oikawa and I are staying longer,” Iwaizumi said. “Give me the keys to the gym and club room. We’ll lock up.”

“Three hours of practice isn’t enough?” Otonashi widened her eyes in disbelief. 

Iwaizumi gave her something between a smile and a grimace, and as he looked back at Oikawa, who was about to practice jump serves, his eyes softened.

“Not when he really wants to win.”

Otonashi studied Iwaizumi’s face for a while, and asked, “How about you?”

Iwaizumi turned back towards her with a dumbfounded look. Her question took him by surprise.

“Do you want it as badly as Oikawa?”

Oikawa was obsessed with volleyball, that much Otonashi knew. And how could he not, with his talent and all of the praise he received. But what about Iwaizumi? 

Iwaizumi’s eyes were focused and sharp, even though he was drenched in sweat from three hours of volleyball practice. And before he answered her with words, his smile had already told her enough.

“Of course I do!”

To want something so badly that you would push your body and mind to the limit, Otonashi wondered what that felt like. It sounded almost too romantic of an idea, but Iwaizumi was earnest about it. Like he was about everything. Whether it was extra volleyball practice even though he wasn’t considering a career in volleyball, or writing the  _ kanji _ of her name a hundred times to learn it overnight even though it was not required at his grade.

She wondered if she could have a taste of that feeling if she stuck around them. 

“I’ll stay too,” she blurted. 

Iwaizumi seemed surprised. “Oh, but it’s late…”

“Let her stay, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa yelled. “But you’d better make yourself useful and pick up the balls, Ao-chan! Or else Iwa-chan won’t walk you home!”

“Why do you say things like that?!” Iwaizumi yelled back, a little red in the face. But he turned back to Otonashi. “I guess he’s right. It’s better if we left together. We won’t take too long.”

In the end, the two boys practiced all the way until nine o’clock, and Otonashi had tripped three times while picking up loose balls. 

🌱

“You look terrible.”

Iwaizumi said to Otonashi when she plopped down into the seat next to him in the morning. Bright red veins weaved all throughout the whites of her eyes and the dark circles around her eyelids were almost like stage makeup. Otonashi couldn’t care less about how she looked, though, as she yawned and put her face down on her desk. 

“We’re not keeping you at practice too long, are we?” Iwaizumi asked. 

Otonashi had been staying late at volleyball practice with Iwaizumi and Oikawa for the past few days. Even though they were extra practice, Iwaizumi usually forced Oikawa to stop and go home by eight or nine latest. It wasn’t late enough for Otonashi to get this tired, especially when she wasn’t doing any studying after getting home. 

What she kept from her friends was that she had been reading up on volleyball related articles online every night until the dead of night. First she learned all of the rules, then she learned all about the different techniques, then she went on to learn about physical training and nutrition. It was the first time that she felt that she understood everything that was written, but not how they were physically possible. At least, she thought that she saw the level of effort from the volleyball club a little better now. 

“I’ve just been reading,” Otonashi yawned. 

“What book’s got you hooked this time?” Iwaizumi shook his head after his own question. “Nevermind, not that I would know. But don't forget to sleep, all right?”

“Roger that,” Otonashi said as she folded her arms on top of her desk and wriggled her cheek into her little arm nest. She heard Iwaizumi mumble “idiot” at her before she drifted to sleep with a soft smile at her lips. 

On that day as well, Oikawa and Iwaizumi stayed at the gym after regular practice and Otonashi watched. Otonashi had slept through her classes and was looking much better than in the morning. As usual, she picked up balls around the gym as the boys practiced serving. Iwaizumi was in top shape, while Oikawa seemed a little slower than usual. He was tired from all of the extra practice, even an unathletic person like Otonashi could tell.

She shook her head as she turned her back to him; she still didn’t understand how someone could push their bodies to the limit day after day. Perhaps that was the meaning of living life to the fullest. If that was the case, then Otonashi has barely lived life at all.

A great thud from behind her caused her to look down at herself. Strangely, she had not fallen to the floor, so why did she hear a thud?

“Oikawa!” Then came Iwaizumi’s shout.

Otonashi whirled around to see Oikawa sitting on the floor with one of his knees up. He held it with his hands with a painful expression, while Iwaizumi knelt beside him. Without a second thought, Otonashi retrieved an ice pack from the cooler and ran to the boys.

Oikawa shuddered when Otonashi pressed the ice pack to his knee.

“Did you fall?” she asked.

“I’m not  _ you _ ,” Oikawa shot her a gritty smile.

“Now is not the time for jokes, Shittykawa!” Iwaizumi punched Oikawa in the head.

“Ow! Iwa-chan, why are you adding to my injuries?!”

All of Oikawa’s complaints were ignored as Iwaizumi lifted him up. As Iwaizumi slung Oikawa’s arm over his shoulders, Otonashi went and grabbed the boys’ duffel bags and followed them. 

“I’m surprised that you can carry that many bags without throwing off your balance,” Oikawa teased at her while he hopped on one leg. 

Although Oikawa was smiling, Otonashi could see the fear lying underneath. The beads of sweat forming around his temples, causing his hair to stick together, gave him away. No matter how slick Oikawa thought he was, both Otonashi and Iwaizumi thought that he wore his feelings on his sleeve. They were just different types of smiling. So to Oikawa’s teasing, Otonashi merely rolled her eyes.

Iwaizumi carried Oikawa all the way to the nearest sports clinic, which was fortunately less than a mile away from Aoba Johsai. The doctor seemed to remember Oikawa, which was a bad sign to Otonashi. But after a while in the examination room, the doctor said that it was an old knee injury site flaring up and that Oikawa should avoid putting pressure on his knee until the pain was completely gone. It was normal and sound advice, but to Oikawa, it was devastating. It meant that he might not be able to play against Karasuno in the upcoming practice match. 

“This will teach you not to overwork yourself just from thinking about Kageyama,” Iwaizumi lectured Oikawa as the doctor left the examination room, leaving the three teens to gather up their things.

“I do not  _ think _ about Tobio-chan!” Oikawa protested loudly, but it sounded more like a whine instead. He bent down from the exam table to pick up his sock and shoe, and lifted his foot to the edge of the table to put them on. 

“I can’t wait to meet this  _ Tobio-chan _ who has Oikawa wrapped around his fingers,” Otonashi teased in revenge for what Oikawa said on their way to the clinic. 

But to both Iwaizumi and Otonashi’s surprise, instead of quickly retorting like he usually did, Oikawa stopped putting on his shoe and hugged his injured knee into his chest and buried his face into the small space in between, resting his forehead on top of his knee. His shoulders were visibly quivering. He didn’t need to say how he felt for his friends to know that he was frustrated. 

Knee injuries were not to be taken lightly, especially if he hoped to continue playing volleyball professionally after high school. 

Oikawa Tooru, a six foot tall boy who commanded so much attention on and off the volleyball court, seemed so much like a sad puppy now. Otonashi had half the mind to pet his hair. 

Iwaizumi, without saying a word, went up to the exam table and bent at the waist. Messily but tightly, he helped tie Oikawa’s shoelace. Aftwards, he heavily patted the large puppy’s head until muffled whining could be heard. 

“Go home and rest,” said Iwaizumi. “You still have a long way ahead of you.”

Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi with a pink nose, and after a few seconds of silence, he smiled. 

Otonashi watched Iwaizumi’s back move as he helped Oikawa stand up from the exam table. Iwaizumi was not a captain. Iwaizumi was not six feet tall. Iwaizumi was probably never going to play volleyball professionally. But Iwaizumi Hajime always knew the right thing to say, because he was right there with Oikawa through everything.

Oikawa was an exceptional volleyball player; one of the top players in the prefecture. Otonashi was the top student of her school, and probably could be the top at any school she went to. But neither of them had what Iwaizumi had, and that was an unwavering spirit. 

🌱

After they’d made sure that Oikawa was going to be okay on his crutches, Iwaizumi insisted on walking Otonashi home. It was past ten in the evening, and Otonashi would have been in trouble for getting home so late if she had a curfew or if her parents were ever home. On the other hand, Iwaizumi seemed to be more concerned about the hour of the evening than she was. They walked briskly through the chilly spring night to get her home as quickly as possible. The blazer of Seijoh’s girls uniform was not nearly enough cover for Otonashi.

“Can we slow down a bit? You know I’m not an athlete like you,” Otonashi complained as she trailed behind Iwaizumi, her hands wrapped around opposite arms. 

Iwaizumi looked back at Otonashi, who seemed to have shrunk in the cold. He stopped abruptly, almost making Otonashi crash into him, but he steadied her by the shoulders and proceeded to take off his track jacket. He wore only a black t-shirt under his jacket, but he did not even shiver. 

She studied his arms as he put his jacket around her back, then his hands as he zipped the jacket all the way up. The high collars closed right under her bottom lip, and as she looked down at his fingers, she could see the callouses built from years of playing volleyball. As he pulled his hand away, she looked at him in the eyes. 

“You’re a real man’s man, Iwa-chan,” she mused as she snaked her arms through the sleeves of the track jacket. 

Iwaizumi made a face that she couldn’t read. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“When you rushed to Oikawa when he got hurt, and when you carried him all the way to the hospital even though he was whining in your ear, and when you tied his shoelace,” Otonashi recalled the incidents of the day. “Even the smell of sweat on this jacket is manly.”

Now he was as red as a tomato. “I-if you don’t want it, give it back!”

“No,” Otonashi backed away as Iwaizumi reached for the zipper again, and when he missed, she smiled mischievously at him. The frustration added more color to his cheeks. 

What Otonashi didn’t mention to Iwaizumi was the look in his eyes when he saw Oikawa clutching his knee, the amount of care and worry that shone through even though his words were harsh. She didn’t mention how strong and reliable his back looked when he was carrying a friend who was taller than him. She didn’t mention the calming impact of his voice in an otherwise dreadful moment. 

If Otonashi were to create a work of fiction, Iwaizumi would be the main character. The kind of character who was so ordinary to others, but carried a light so bright, but only the special ones could see it. 

“I could say the same about you,” Iwaizumi said suddenly. “When you ran to Oikawa with the ice pack and carried our bags all the way to the hospital…”

Otonashi’s smile slowly faded as she saw Iwaizumi’s face soften at her. She’d seen the look before. Sometimes it would be from her exes when they first started dating. Sometimes she’d catch Iwaizumi looking at her that way, then pretending to look away. Except this time, he didn’t look away.

It made her stomach flutter. 

“You looked like a real manager today,” Iwaizumi smiled. “It looked good on you.”

As Iwaizumi turned back towards the street in front of them, Otonashi’s legs were locked in place. The flutter had spread to her knees and hands and heart. 

“Aoi, let’s go!” he called without turning back. 

It must have been what they called ‘butterflies in the stomach.’ Otonashi always thought that it felt more uncomfortable than nice, like they led you to think in novels. After all, the metaphor itself suggested having insects in your stomach. It felt like the butterflies were frantically flying around, and Otonashi understood why they were so distraught. If these butterflies were part of her body, then perhaps they felt both of the things that she felt every time Iwaizumi looked at her that way. 

Excitement and panic. At the same time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying a thing where I switch from Iwa and Aoi's POV each chapter. Also, is it weird that in the fic I keep using her last name in the narration?


End file.
